Building on the success of Marty Supreme, it’s time for Timothée Chalamet to star in a soccer movie.
As someone who loves both sports and cinema, there are few things that are more exciting than a well-made sports movie.
Titles like Remember the Titans, Rocky III, Moneyball, and Miracle are all classics which get better with each re-watch.
But making a good sports movie is not an easy task. For every Friday Night Lights there is a Leatherheads. For every Bull Durham there is a Trouble With the Curve. For every Raging Bull there is a Million Dollar Baby. For the most part, the hit rate on sports movies is less than 50%, with some truly bizarre releases over the past 25 years. Remember Radio? Or The Legend of Baggar Vance?
The problem with sports films, like biopics, is that they can be incredibly formulaic. Even the best are guilty of relying on the same tropes that pull at viewers’ heartstrings and manipulate their emotions. But there are a few key elements that separate successful sports movies from the mediocre ones.
The big ones include proper casting and memorable acting performances, while more lowkey ones can be things like iconic needle drops or subtle if-you-know-you-know easter eggs that confirm the filmmakers know what they’re doing.
But nothing is more paramount to nailing a sports movie than ensuring you have convincing sports sequences.
That might seem pretty obvious — you are making a sports movie after all, of course the actual sports have to be well-executed right? But you’d be surprised at how hard it is to nail sports setpieces on both small and large scales.
Audiences are used to watching sports at the highest level, and even the slightest un-athletic twitch can easily be spotted as ersatz to discerning eyes. Stunt doubles and three-month training sessions can only go so far, especially when it comes to precise movements like a golf swing, pitching motion, or free kick.
Take Tom Cruise for example. He’s pretty much mastered the on-screen sprint, and he’s dedicated the latter part of his career into becoming a stunt legend, hanging off planes, scaling buildings, and hitting motorcycle jumps that Evel Knievel would think twice about. But the guy can’t play catch to save his life.
Finding actors that can convincingly play sports is exceedingly difficult. Guys like Adam Sandler, Woody Harrelson, and Denzel Washington are all outliers. So when you find one, it’s only right that you cast them in a sports movie.
We’ve found one in Timothée Chalamet.
Chalamet’s acting chops are of course unquestionable, playing a range that includes a budding young performative male in Lady Bird to the fast-talking, ultra confident Marty Mauser in Marty Supreme.
Chalamet gets to show off some of his athletic prowess in the latter film, which will surely garner awards buzz (he’s already won the Critic’s Choice Award for Best Actor for the performance), but the talent scout in me thinks there’s more to be uncovered.
It’s no secret that Timmy grew up playing soccer, shouting out former youth teammate and current Nashville SC winger Alex Muyl on Theo Von’s podcast, and posting pics of himself playing in a 2008 Mexico long-sleeved kit.
His love for the game goes beyond just playing, professing his love for Ligue 1 side Saint-Étienne and rocking kits and apparel from teams like Nigeria and the Columbus Crew. Beyond soccer, he’s a massive sports head in general and he’s even outwardly said that he’s taking an athlete’s approach to greatness when it comes to his acting career, which has ruffled a few feathers in the Hollywood sphere.
All of this to say: It’s the perfect time for the Timothée Chalamet soccer movie.
You’ll notice that there has yet to be a soccer film mentioned — and while there are a handful of good to very good soccer movies including Victory, Shaolin Soccer, and The Damned United, there’s yet to be the definitive soccer film like there is with other sports.
A big part of this is because it’s so hard to nail soccer sequences. While sports like boxing can be easy to feign proficiency in, or movie magic in post production can make a 50 mile-per-hour fastball look like 95, it’s nearly impossible to fake soccer if you’ve never played before. It’s a big reason why some of the best soccer films are documentaries like The Two Escobars or Next Goal Wins (2013).
She’s the Man will always have a special place in my heart, but every single soccer scene is comically bad, particularly the final one. Amanda Bynes playing with her hair down is a poor start, and a red flag indicating that no one on set had watched a women’s soccer game before. But then you have ridiculous bicycle kicks, spammed slide tackles, and a penalty kick sequence that’s physically impossible. A soccer coordinator or consultant would’ve gone a long way here. (I still love this movie though.)
Bend it Like Beckham suffers from a similar malaise, although it at least does a semi-decent job of trying to disguise the soccer action with whip pans and stunt doubles.
The soccer in Victory is surprisingly good, but they had ex-pros like Pelé, Bobby Moore, and Osvaldo Ardiles to handle the brunt of the work. Sylvester Stallone is relegated to clumsy goalkeeping, and it was clear that Michael Caine wanted no part in actually touching the ball.
In a hypothetical soccer movie with Chalamet as the lead, you ostensibly wouldn’t have to rely on sleight of hand camera work or delegate most of the soccer action to supporting actors with playing backgrounds. You could let him cook a little. His slight build translates well to a footballer, and he already has the natural charisma of a star athlete. He’s got his own Wheaties box for goodness’ sake.
Can we get him in a role as a Christian Pulisic-esque American trying to break through in Europe? Or a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford that simultaneously navigates the underground world of London street football in a soccer version of Rounders?
Whatever it is, it’s the perfect time in Chalamet’s career both from an age and arc perspective. He has the massive franchise in Dune. He’s done plenty of arthouse indie work. Let’s build on the momentum of Marty Supreme and get him in another sports flick. At least we know that the press tour would be legendary.
